belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
