"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
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