I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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