For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Randomize
