I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Randomize