remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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