you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
They took my balls.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
