Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize