trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
