Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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