so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
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