i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize