this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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