please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
