She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
