meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Just puked most of my soul out..
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
