i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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