I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize