he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize
