After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
