dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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