things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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