The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
