Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
