That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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