It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize