You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
