There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
