I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
