i will never coherently bang her
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
