im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
