I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
