I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I am one with the molecules
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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