i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
