You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
