I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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