HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
