You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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