Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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