I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
