hotel room ftw
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
