Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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