What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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