I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
