We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
