Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
