I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Randomize
