omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize