I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
My penis needs a shock collar
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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