Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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