Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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