He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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