btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
