Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
