Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
