I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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