Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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