Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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