did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
