dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
bring money and cleavage
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
